Confessions Of A Paleo Weightlifter

My experiences at Portland Crossfit, aka “the buff factory” aka “das
uber clube des buff”, and as a recorded guinea pig of the paleo diet,
can be best characterized by borrowing a hilarious, yet made-up term:
“Scrumtralescent”.

I joined Crossfit in January of 2008. I was bulky. Some may have
described my physique as ‘fat’. I enjoyed thinking of myself as
lovable…with girth. My intentions were simple enough: find a regime
that promoted healthy living and stick with it. At the time, I had
mastered a lifestyle which at best could be described as dysfunctional.
I smoked cigarettes; drank excessively, and for the most part, devalued
what most people, including the Bush Administration, would deem as
‘acceptable living’.

My initial thought was to engross myself in a community that valued more
than ones’ capacity to drink 18 beers in one sitting, and to see what
happened. What I discovered, with some hard work and expert guidance,
was nothing short of miraculous. The first three months were rather
pedestrian. I would come to Crossfit thrice-a-week and perform the
prescribed workouts. Although challenging, they were not a big deal. I
was intimidated, but gradually, I began to see results: I was losing
weight and feeling stronger. The problem, however, was that I wasn’t
losing weight as rapidly as I had imagined. I was definitely getting
stronger, but my weight hovered in the same district. Fortunately, I
soon discovered that Crossfit is much more than a gym with simple
membership requirements. More than buff enthusiasts, the instructors are
nutritionalists that subscribe to a philosophy of living, a physical
‘filosophia di vie’ of sorts, which transcends simple exercise. Scott,
Xi Xia, and Rochelle are compassionate individuals and true exemplars of
the practices and ideologies which support what is commonly known as
‘Crossfit’. In other words, beyond providing the basics, i.e., the
simple guidance as to the proper form of exercise, they offer the
personal attention and dietary suggestions that are critical for those
(like myself) whom are impatient to see the results of hard work.

What began as a simple conversation of diet, soon transformed into a two
month public experiment: I was to commit to a ‘paleo’ or ‘ancestral’
diet which involved radically changing my eating habits — zero carbs,
high protein, massive amounts of vegetables, healthy fats, and kombucha
(not required, but delicious). Initially, the goal was to maintain and
record my diet for four weeks. However, I quickly discovered that the
combination of dietary governance and daily Crossfit workouts delivered
a potent effect. The support I received from the Portland Crossfit team,
in particular from my main man, Xi Xia, expanded the horizons of my
physical accomplishments. The four-week experiment soon morphed into an
eight week effort which has left me feeling stronger than ever and (as
of today) has resulted with 20 pounds of weight loss.

Portland Crossfit is by no means easy. The daily workouts are
intimidating at best. As a friend once said, “If I’m not scared by the
Work out Of the Day, it’s not worth doing.” I resonate with this
statement. I have now been an active member of the Portland Crossfit
community for nine months, and I can say with absolute certainty that
each day when I arrive for class I am scared. The reward, however, is in
the discovery that the goals are in fact, achievable. By completing the
prescribed workouts, we empower ourselves to take steps toward, albeit
inch by inch, the goal of becoming more fit individuals. My experiences
at Portland Crossfit have afforded new friendships, confidence in my
body-image, and a total weight loss of 35 pounds, and for that I am
eternally grateful. More importantly, I have maintained a commitment to
healthy eating habits and living; I have continued to be smoke-free; and
I have reaped the unexpected rewards of imagining that I have a chiseled
physique (psychological overconfidence and apparent narcissistic results
may vary). But for now, I will sleep soundly with my sincere thanks to
the Portland Crossfit Community for exemplifying what I believe to be
the true meaning of an imaginary yet provocative term: Scrumtralescent.

In buffness I remain,

Your Student For Life,